Diane Speirs

You know that Gremlin on your shoulder?

The little voice that tells you you're not good enough, don't know enough, can't do it?

The one that tells you to stay small, silent, safe?

Well my Gremlin and I go waaaaaay back. Thirteen years old and my high school was holding auditions for West Side Story, and I was certain I couldn't do it. What did I have to offer? What did I know about being in a musical and creating a character? But I stared down that Gremlin, told her to hush up, and went out anyway. And though I didn't get a lead (ok, truth be told, I played Pepe), from that moment on, I was hooked on theatre and live performing.

I loved to perform but didn't think I could make a profession of it (you know...Gremlins!), so I went to university and got an education degree. After two years of teaching high school, I knew that I missed performing very much. So I faced down the Gremlin again and went back to school for a Masters degree in Vocal Performance at University of Toronto.

I auditioned and got into the professional Equity chorus of Vancouver Opera, before even learning what an opera chorus does. The Gremlin was really onto something this time...I felt like a complete fraud at those first rehearsals.

And then, twenty years ago, I was hired to teach singing to acting students at Studio 58. I sure didn't feel like I knew what I was doing (and neither did my Gremlin!). But I went to work learning about vocal technique for musical theatre...and how to teach it. I learned from the students how to study intentions. I learned to use the lens of how all the parts of a song can help tell the story. I coached on productions, watched directors at work, learned about how actors uncover the authentic stories they want to tell. It was from Wendy Gorling, my colleague at theatre school, that I finally learned to acknowledge the Gremlin (her name for that little beast on the shoulder), and to imagine what it looks like. The voice that had followed me my whole life, telling me I wasn’t good enough, finally had a name. And I finally had a way forward. Being a part of the faculty at a theatre school changed me. It changed how I approach music and storytelling, whether it's in opera, or musical theatre, or a pop song.